First "couponing" high

I have a friend, Bekah, who is a very savvy couponer. She is a full time stay-at-home-mom so her couponing is a part time job. She loves doing it and it's very helpful for her family. Lucky for me, she also likes teaching people how to navigate the world of couponing. So, yesterday after looking in the CVS and Walgreens ads and finding things that I actually wanted and/or needed that were on good sales, we went out to give it a shot.

At CVS, there were several items (Phillips earbuds, batteries, floss and matchbox cars) that I needed to get anyway.  Each of those items gave you back the sale price in rewards bucks, so I accumulated about $14 of rewards bucks. The beauty of this particular venture was that there was a toy I wanted to get the boys for Christmas on sale for $12.99! So, I bought my stuff and then paid for the toy with rewards. I left there feeling pretty satisfied. But, the lesson wasn't over.  Bekah wanted to show me the ropes at Walgreens.

My Walgreens haul

I got 6 packs of hair ties (seriously, I think I'm set until Jesus comes), 3 Thermacare wraps, 2 hair gels for the boys, and 2 hair products for my frizzy hair (oh, and 2 tubes of Carmex I forgot to throw in the picture). Regular price on all this stuff: over $60!!! Sale price: over $30!!!I stood at the register in awe at Bekah as she broke it all down into the best money saving transactions. So, get this:  my price...wait for it....$3.88!!!!!!!!!!! Granted, I would NEVER buy all this at regular price or even this much at sale price, but for products I actually use, this was a HUGE score! I can definitely see how it can become addicting to shop like this! I will definitely have to go with Bekah a few more times before I'm proficient on my own but it's more fun to shop with a girlfriend anyway, right? Thanks, Bekah!

My little man

After coming home from my amazing mommy vacation at the end of September, I had envisioned the month of October being one of catching up on projects, planting some fall flowers, cooking freezer meals and getting the house in order for after Noah's eye surgery. Well, after all my energy was re-directed to Caleb and his needs and a very busy month at work, let's just say, not much of that happened. Until last Monday, I had decided I just needed to let go of that, and we would get by just fine. Then, we had Noah's pre-op appointment.

There were several things I was not aware of until Monday. One is that for 2 weeks after eye muscle surgery, the eye muscles (and hence, eye balls) are not stable. The papers they give you say "no contact sports" but then the eye doctor's assistant goes on to describe what that translates to in toddler-land: no running, jumping, bike riding, scooter riding or anything other than just walking. Seriously? Anyone who has spent any time around a 3 year old knows that's just crazy. But, I totally get why it's that way, just not enjoying what that actually looks like. Oh, and no dirt, dust or sand.  So basically, no going outside. Lovely. Then, we find out that as he grows, his eye will likely turn out again and he will require surgery again later in life (if you asked me today, I'd tell you he'll just have to suck it up and deal with a crazy eye til he's 18 cuz we're not doing this again), but I digress. Again, makes sense to me, but still kinda stinks to know this isn't a one-time deal.  And, his eye will most likely turn in (aka be cross-eyed) for a few weeks after the surgery until his brain adjusts to the new position of his muscles. Needless to say, I left that appointment freaking out a little bit about what the next few weeks were going to be like.

We are now 2 days out from surgery and, honestly, it has been as rough as I thought it would be, but in the midst of the difficulty, I am reminded that there is much to be thankful for. First of all, there were no immediate consequences from the surgery or anesthesia, which is huge. The surgeon was very pleased with how the muscles were positioned and complimented him as having big, beefy muscles. :) But, equally as important is the amount of prayer and support we have been surrounded by. All day Thursday, I felt how enveloped we were in prayer.  It was not an easy day, but we got through and did ok. I was blessed by the mother of a patient who has become a friend, who very honestly shared with me what to expect after surgery because no one had prepared her for what her son would look like after eye muscle surgery. I'll spare ya'll the details, but I cannot say enough what a blessing it was to be to be prepared for all that. We have also been blessed by a church family that has made up a meal schedule for us and my sweet sister who got more people on board with that. Just a simple thing like not having to think at all about dinner and having a warm, yummy meal to sit down to is wonderful. I'm also trying to see the silver lining in the amount of time I have spent sitting on the couch with Noah keeping him occupied and quiet, and have been catching up on the blog and some reading when he is quiet.

We are far from done with all this, but I'm hoping the worst is behind us and glad to know that when his eyes are all healed up, our little dude will actually have depth perception and will not fall and hit his head on stuff nearly as often. Thank goodness for that!

My big boy

You may remember that last fall (you can read here if you don't), we had Caleb evaluated by a neuropsychologist who diagnosed him with ADHD (no surprise), and generalized anxiety disorder with possible OCD (quite surprising, actually). He is now doing well on two medications and has had a really good year, except for one issue: his weight. The medication for ADHD is a stimulant, which commonly suppresses appetite. We worked diligently from the beginning to keep his calorie intake up so that he would not lose weight (at 6 years, 49 pounds and 48 inches is pretty skinny) that he did not have to lose. He has held steady over the past year until a month ago. He had 2 doctor appointments 3 weeks apart and in that time he dropped to just above 44 pounds (now 7 years old and still 48 inches tall). Needless to say, we were all very alarmed. We have just recently switched pediatricians (a story for another day), so she was really concerned as these were the first two times we had ever seen her. We immediately went to work on a very structured daily meal plan packing in as many nutrient rich calories as possible. The pediatrician asked us to go see his neuropsychologist again to see what he thought of the situation because she thought it must be the medication, wanted us to work on increasing calories and to come back in 2-3 weeks.

John and I went and met with the specialist last Friday and he was quite puzzled by the situation, but was rather adamant that the medication could not be the sole cause for the sudden weight loss. If the medication were going to cause that kind of side effects, it would have done so in the first month or two, not a year later.  When looking at the whole picture of all his current symptoms, he raised the question of if he might have a thyroid or adrenal gland issue. I had honestly never even thought about that nor had our previous pediatrician ever mentioned that. So, back to the pediatrician we went this past Tuesday. Caleb gained back almost 3 pounds which is AMAZING but at the same time, still puzzling as to why he dropped it in the first place and why he has essentially weighed the same and been the same height for 18 months now. I asked her what she thought about testing his thyroid and her response was, "Well, that was ruled out before the ADHD meds, right?". Um, no. Apparently, that is one of the things that could/should be checked before starting meds. This was further confirmation that we had made the right choice in switching pediatricians.

So, for now, we are awaiting the thyroid test results and will see where we go from there.  In the meantime, we are working diligently on Caleb's diet. He has been a trooper and is very proud of himself when he eats all his food for the day and that he has made up his own menu, complete with numbers (which I apparently didn't learn quickly enough!). Needless to say, I was rather surprised to be spending the past month so focused on Caleb's health, when I thought October was going to be all about getting ourselves ready for Noah's surgery. Ah, the roller coaster ride of parenting!

Schooling our boy...year 3

So far, each of Caleb's formal school years have looked a little different. We solely home schooled for kindergarten and then last year, started him at a charter school which ended in disaster but ultimately led us to Fresno Christian. (You can read this post if you missed that debacle). He had a great year and we loved having him there. But, there was one issue that remained heavy on our hearts. Because of the nature of John's business, he works late afternoons and evenings. Last year, his schedule allowed him to pick Caleb up at school and spend about an hour with him most afternoons. This year, though, that was not going to be possible. Caleb being in full day 2nd grade at Fresno Christian was going to mean that his daddy would drop him off at school in the morning and they wouldn't get to see each other again until the next morning.

The hardest part of the dilemma was that my heart and John's were in different places. All I could see was how much Caleb had thrived last year and so badly wanted him to have a full year, start to finish, in the same place again. I wanted to try to shift around our morning schedule so they could have some quality time together in the mornings and make weekend time more intentional. But, that wasn't going to work for my man. He was wanting to homeschool full time again. I'm not going to lie....I didn't want to. I wasn't prepared to homeschool and felt like I couldn't do it well with our schedules and Noah's needs.  I was digging my heels in and so was hubby. Not a pretty scenario. After many tears, lots of conversations and prayers, this is what I found out: unbeknownst to me, Caleb and John had had a heart-wrenching conversation on the last day of first grade. Caleb told him how much he loved school but that he had really, really missed his daddy. *yikes* And this year, there would be even less time for him to spend with daddy. A.lot.less. Once my heart was opened to what the real issue was and I truly understood where my hubby was coming from, I knew we had to figure something out.

Then, we found out that, once again, we could do things a little differently. Fresno Christian has allowed several families in the past to do half school based learning and half home school. Well, it actually works out to be more like 70/30. Only a few days before school started (because we are lame like that), John went to the office and got it all sorted out. Caleb would go to school for the morning and come home after lunch and do his afternoon work at home. With his daddy. Win-win!!! Caleb gets all his reading, writing and math (which is by far his favorite subject) in the classroom, has lunch and recess with his classmates and then comes home to do social studies and science before John goes to work. It took a couple weeks to get into a good rhythm but we're getting it all worked out and he is doing really well!

I was again humbled to realize that my plans are not always the best and that it continues to be our responsibility (and right) as parents of our children to evaluate what the best method of education is for each child each year. And once I quit ignoring my husband (and the Lord, for that matter), I was able to see that Caleb really gets the best of both worlds this way.  He is still experiencing the school year start to finish in the same place AND gets to spend at least 2 hours of quality time with his dad each day. Let me just say, my husband is pretty stinkin' amazing when it comes to his passion for being involved in raising his boys into men. And, I'm really proud of him for having the courage and leadership he showed in changing the plans for this year when this red-headed wife of his isn't being very cooperative. Again, so humbled. And so excited for another great year of schooling for our boy!

A Year of Words

Today was the end of Noah's services through our local early intervention program. After coming home from saying our goodbyes to Ms. Debbie, his speech therapist, I was remembering back to where he was just over a year ago. He has come a long, long way!

One year ago, Noah was 24 months old and his speech was at a 12-15 month level. Each and every speech session we had focused on getting him to either sign or make a sound for things that he wanted, rather than pointing, grunting or crying. It took a lot of creativity to get him to engage in any attempts to make sounds.  We would work in one of the OT gyms so that he could do physical activity while being coaxed to talk. We played lots of "ready-set-go" games and early on, we celebrated when he would attempt to say go after the therapist said ready-set.....and it sounded more like "KO!!!".

Today, Noah is 3 days shy of being 36 months and his speech is right about 26 months. He is still behind but has made so. much. progress. There was a beautiful moment in his speech session today, where he started a game by saying "weady! set! GO!!!!", ran and jumped off the mat then exclaimed, "I did it!!!" Such sweet words to hear from my little man. Yes, you sure did do it, Noah. Mama and Papa are very proud of you. In just a few weeks, we'll get to meet your new therapist who will help us get the rest of the way there. I can't wait to hear all the new things you're going to be saying in the next year!

First the ears, now the eyes.

Those of you who have been following our blog know that we were very excited to get Noah's tubes placed and get on with his language progression and helping him catch up. Glad to be in smooth waters for a change. And then we started noticing that his eye we had been keeping close watch on seemed to be getting worse. He was diagnosed with a superior oblique palsy in his left eye (fancy term for eye that wanders up and out) last year.  Because of all his other health issues, we have been watching it closely, but not treating. The eye doctor had told us that when he was healthier, we could work on getting him in glasses and that he *might*, somewhere down the line, need eye muscle surgery. We've noticed that he's been falling. A lot. We started paying closer attention after his fall that required 9 stitches just above his left eye. He's actually run right into things a few times (that we've witnessed...who know's how many times we haven't seen). I decided it was time to get him back into the eye doctor. After having to be persistent that I did not want to wait until the end of September, we got in to see her two weeks ago.

It's never a good thing when the doctor walks in the room, crouches down to talk face to face with your child then stands up and says, "Well, it certainly looks like you need my help!".  After she looked at a series of tests one of the techs did and then tested his eyes herself, she said that she was pretty sure this was not just a muscle palsy, but rather a structural problem. In. both. eyes. Say what???? Turns out that his right eye is off too, but we never noticed because it looks pretty normal compared to the left! She estimates he has no depth perception about 80% of the time. Well, that certainly explains why he falls and runs into things! At this point, we had been in the office for HOURS and Noah and I were both tired and crabby and it was all I could do not to burst into tears. When we left, the plan was that we will be doing some eye muscle training using eye drops for the next month then return to see her for more testing and to further discuss surgery. At least I thought that was the plan. I got a call two days later from her surgery scheduler saying that doctor really wanted to get this surgery on the books. She went on to explain that it will involve correcting the position of four muscles around each eye. So, it's now scheduled for October 25th. I have a lot of praying and processing to do before then, but for now, am keeping myself busy with other stuff and trying not to think about it the scary parts too much but am choosing to remember all these positives:

1. His doctor has done hundreds and hundreds of these surgeries over the past 20 years.
2. He will have the same anesthesia he had for his ear tubes that we know he does ok with. (And this is no small thing!)
3. The surgery will be in the same small surgery center as his ear tubes. (We were really happy with the facility and staff).
4. The doctor told me that she has observed over her career that age 3 seems to be the perfect age for eye muscle surgery. Any younger is not good and the older you get, the harder the recovery.
5. Last, but by no means LEAST, the same Sovereign God who knit this child together in my womb already knows the plan and will be there alongside us. Every. step. of. the. way. Can I get an AMEN???

This too shall pass.

I've debated back and forth about writing this post, but ultimately decided it was worth sharing. Partly because it's a bit therapeutic to put my thoughts and feelings into words and partly because I know that I'm not alone. There is a phrase I grew up hearing on occasion and have come to rely on frequently in difficult situations...."this too shall pass". There have been many times in life that this was a healthy way to look at a difficult situation; to keep an eternal perspective on the difficulties of life. But, I've come to realize recently that I've been going back to that phrase WAY too often with regards to my children lately.

After struggling through our fertility issues and the intensity of his birth, the joy that filled our lives when Caleb arrived was powerful. I remember savoring the moments early in his life, even when things  weren't easy, and being determined not to "wish-away" any part of his little life. I wanted to enjoy all of it. The good, the bad and the ugly. And, I have to say, I did a pretty good job. When our second (and quite unexpected) little boy arrived, I savored his early little life as well, even though it was more challenging with a pre-schooler on my hands too.

But then, somewhere over the past couple years, I have struggled off and on with keeping the joy in my journey of motherhood. Especially the past couple months. An almost 3 year old who is just learning to communicate his needs and wants to us (all the while having a very definite opinion about EVERYTHING) and a 7 year old who is very active, emotional and smart can be quite the overwhelming combination sometimes. When I find myself in the midst of days on end of questioning whether life will ever seem easy, sometimes the ONLY thing that keeps me sane is realizing that "this too shall pass". BUT, I'm realizing that I don't want this to just pass. I don't want to white-knuckle my way through this phase as I have been, because then I am too overwhelmed and exhausted to enjoy the truly beautiful parts of these ages. I've been missing out on way too much of the good stuff because I'm so busy consoling myself with "this too shall pass".  It's time for this girl to put her big girl panties on embrace this enormous, amazing blessing I have been given, as imperfect and flawed as it may be!

Phew...so there you have it.  Probably not my most articulate post, but one that has been a long time coming. Here's to embracing ALL of motherhood!

Summer fun

I cannot believe how fast the summer is going by! Caleb has been out of school for over 2 months and only has 3 weeks left before starting second grade!!! It's been a really crazy and somewhat stressful (to put it mildly) summer but we've had lots of fun too.

We took a little hike down around the Fresno River

John and I escaped for the day to spend some time with this beautiful couple in SF. :)

Enjoyed apps and drinks and a very cool tequila bar in the city.

Chillin' with our buddies on the 4th of July

Sparklers in a play-do tub....great idea!

Crazy daddy with sparklers (and a cigar).

Grandma and Grandpa came to visit for a week and we got an ice cream maker...the big boy wanted to be in charge. :)

Two very happy boys on the train at Gilroy Gardens

G-pa with 2 of his 4 grands.

Sweet brother moment.

Paddle boats!

Very fun water play area at Gilroy Gardens

Both boys loved the water...definitely going back

Boys with their Ma-maw and G-pa

So proud of my big boy who earned his Yellow Belt this past Saturday.

A very proud Papa/Instructor

Little brother enjoying his cupcake at the party.

In the midst of the bits and pieces of fun we've had there's been a lot of other stuff going on...but I'll share some of that later....for now, enjoy the cute picts of my little people!

Simplicity of prayer

We're really not sure why, but for about a month now, Caleb has been really out of whack in the mornings. He's moody, hyper, defiant and so on. It has caused a lot of chaos in our home in the mornings and led to a lot of frustration for all of us.  Yesterday morning, I was bound and determined that we were going to have a better morning. You know what shamefully occurred to me? I had not once stopped to pray about this issue. Nope. Not once. So, Caleb and I prayed together and asked Jesus to help us both make good choices have good attitudes and to be obedient. Know what? It's almost as if the Lord was saying, "I was wondering when you were going to bring this to me"! A simple prayer changed the course of our day.  It's so easy to get caught up in figuring things out that I forget to talk to the One who MADE my son, to ask for His divine intervention. Prayer is not just powerful when it comes to the "really big" stuff, it is powerful in the every day things. And that's why we're actually commanded to pray. Without ceasing. Thank you, Lord, for that command.

PS...I still don't know what's been causing all of this and apparently I don't need to know right now. What I do know is that the last two mornings have been completely different.

A little catch-up

It feels like I blinked and the school year was over! After getting off to a very rough start, Caleb ended up taking off and totally loving first grade at Fresno Christian. We were blessed with an amazing teacher who took our boy under her wing and guided him through the year. Caleb made lots of new friends and excelled academically. As the year came to a close, I found myself feeling really sad! As much as I was looking forward to having both boys home for the summer, I was really sad that he's not going to be in Mrs. Yantis' class anymore! But, I've heard really good things about the second grade teacher and was assured by Mrs. Y that he is going to sail through the year in her class.

As I thought about summer and how I wanted that to go, I was feeling the need to be more intentional with our time, especially on the days that I'm home. I'm still working on a little "routine" (note I did not say schedule) chart to help us chose activities together and in that, limit screen time.  For now, we started a summer reading challenge that Caleb is really enjoying, started a summer journal and started playing all kinds of new card games. I had forgotten how much fun Uno is! I love that he is old enough for family game nights. I have very sweet memories of family games growing up and am loving being in the season where I can start that with my own little family! Along with that, we've had lots of "life lesson" moments in learning a new game and how to be gracious whether you win or lose.  Let me tell you in case you may have forgotten: playing games with a 7 year old is an excellent reminder of our sinful natures!

As for the little man, he is continuing to amaze me just about every day with all his new words.  I am thrilled to have completely lost count of how many words he has now! Although we are still seeing pretty regular tantrums, their frequency and intensity have decreased enormously as he has learned to express himself verbally. And let me tell you, that's a beautiful thing. I can tell just by looking at the expression on his face when he comes and TELLS me what he wants that there is such joy in being able to do that!

The other huge thing on Noah's radar is church! Throughout the fall, winter and spring there were periods of time where he was very cooperative and able to sit through most of the church service while still allowing John and I to focus. The last month or so that we had him in there, though, our time was spent going from activity to activity with him, offering and then picking up snacks he didn't want, chasing him down the aisle when he attempted to bolt and basically nothing other than frustration for mama and papa. So, the last Sunday of May we decided to put him in the 2 year old class. John and I felt enormously blessed to have been able to worship, actually learn from the sermon and fellowship with others. But, I was a bit on edge over the next couple days waiting for the other shoe to drop. Guess what? It never did!!!! He's been two weeks in a row now, has loved it, we've loved it and he's not sick! Thank you, Lord!  I'm sure at some point he will get sick, but at this point, I feel like it would be no different than any other little one. Come fall, we will figure out a new strategy and go from there but in the mean time, we are going to enjoy every minute of our newfound freedom!

Whew! That got really long! And now, perfect timing as always, I'm going to go intervene in a brotherly rumble over Kerjack, the giant gorilla the boys both love!

Moving forward....FINALLY!

For so very long, it felt like we were stuck in a rut with our little man. By the time March rolled around, the isolation of "winter quarantine" was getting very old, behavior issues seemed to be getting worse and new words were not appearing very often. I realize, in retrospect, that I was feeling very withdrawn from the world. Play dates were few and far between and I found myself not wanting to take Noah anywhere at all. I was too afraid of him getting sick or getting so out of control with his behavior that we'd have to leave anyway. Either way, it was a rough time.

Then April came with ear tubes and the behavior analyst. And things started to change....finally! Noah sailed through the little surgery to place the tubes and was making new sounds and attempting new words and hearing all kinds of new things immediately. The second night after the tubes were in, he had a rough night and had not slept well at all. I was sitting on the couch with him early in the morning and he suddenly sat straight up, with a very perplexed look on his face, and asked, "choo choo?" He had heard the train whistle that we hear off in the distance in the early mornings! I don't think he's ever heard it before. I could go on and on with examples of all the things he's hearing now that he never heard before and the adorable and SPONTANEOUS speech that is erupting out of him every day.

The week after he got his tubes, we were able to start treatment sessions with a behavior analyst who had been to our home three times in February assessing him, his behaviors and our family dynamic. I must admit, it was really hard for us to ask for help and be vulnerable enough to allow someone into our home (think "Super Nanny" with less drama) and observe what was really going on. I don't know why, but it almost felt shameful that we needed help, like we had failed him. But, only a few weeks in, I am more grateful than ever that these services are being provided for us and am truly amazed at the difference. Not only are his speech and behavior so much better already, but he has been really healthy! He was at Caleb's birthday party a couple weeks ago, and although he was overstimulated with all the noise and kids, he didn't get sick!

It is amazing to finally be seeing big progress and feel like we can take a deep breath and ENJOY the gifts both of our boys really are!

Random cuteness!

I decided to do a little post with some cute shots of the boys I've gotten recently. It's been a fun spring so far!

First year of playing baseball

Fearless climber.

Silly boys

All my boys on the beach.

Fun at the beach.

Reading the Easter story on Easter morning. So sweet.

Family movie night on the couch.

A little dazed when he woke up from his nap on surgery day!

Lavender

I absolutely LOVE lavender so I decided to use it as a theme for a bridal shower I threw last weekend, conveniently for one of my besties who also loves lavender.  I didn't end up doing a whole lot in the way of decor since I was in a car accident the week before the shower and had to just focus on getting the food made and house cleaned. But, the main focus of the decor was very simple but really pretty!

(this isn't a good picture at all and I didn't think to take it until after we had eaten)

I found 3 packs of lavender plants at Costco for a crazy good deal and took some burlap I already had to wrap the plastic tubs they came in and tied them with a pretty bow. So simple, but really cute I thought! Someone asked me if I had found the idea on Pinterest and I was very excited to say NO! I came up with it myself (which is no small thing for this craft-challenged red head). So, I'm going to pin my idea!

Even though it's still a LOT of work, I enjoyed keeping it all simple.  Simple decor and simple food but still felt a little elegant. :)

Something tangible

Although Noah has been sick quite a bit this winter, it has been much, much better than last year. This year we are dealing with more of the fall out of him having been so sick in terms of his speech and behavior issues. He has been in speech therapy now for about 7 months and while he has made some progress, the gap between his chronological age and his expressive speech continues to grow, as does his level of frustration. When I met with his case worker from the regional center and a speech therapist from the school district a couple weeks ago, the speech therapist asked a lot of questions about his ears and hearing. His hearing was tested a year ago and we happened to catch him during a very small window of time that he had no fluid in his ears and his middle ear function was fine and there was no indication of neurological hearing loss. While that was all good news, I was warned that when he does have an ear infection, he does not hear well because of the fluid behind his ear drum and that was most likely the cause of his speech delay. Because we were in the midst of so many other appointments for him and trying to get answers on many fronts, I did not spend a lot of time thinking or worrying about his ears specifically.

This winter rolled around and our main problem has been ear infection after ear infection.....and a growing gap in his speech. So, we decided to go and see our ENT to have him evaluated again and discuss options. We have been blessed with a really good ENT who is very thorough and explains things thoroughly enough to satisfy this inquisitive mama. He explained that Noah has not had a series of ear infections, rather he has had one long one that has not cleared up in six months. During the last six months, he estimated that he has only been hearing 60-70% of normal. His middle ear function is VERY poor and he has a lot of fluid behind both ear drums. He went on to explain the purpose for tubes, most of which I already knew except for ONE key thing. For the general population, that does not have and immune system deficiency, tubes have been shown to reduce ear infections by 90%.  It most likely won't be that high for Noah because of his illness. However, (and here is the key thing I never realized), when he does get an infection, because there is a tube keeping things open, antibiotic drops can be delivered directly to the infection bypassing he need for them to run through the whole body AND they are 400-500% more potent that system meds. I have no idea why that never occurred to me before, but I'm really glad to know that.  The doctor was also very encouraging in that he seems to think that within a year, his speech should catch up to normal as long as the tubes work properly! The even better news is that the ENT's office has their own surgery center which will bypass the need to have the surgery at the hospital, which is one place you really, really don't want to take a kid with an immune deficiency.

Even though it will require minor surgery that is not without risk, John and I both feel like the potential benefits far outweigh the risks. I can't really explain how good it makes me feel to know there is something tangible, something very clear cut  that we can try to help our little guy overcome one of his many obstacles. And in the meantime, I am having to show myself grace because the mommy-guilt is wanting to set in and remind me that I "should" have moved forward with this last year and maybe we could have avoided some of this mess. But, I am choosing to focus on the fact that we honestly do the best we can do with the information we have at any given time and now there IS something in reach that we can do to help him! And it's as simple as ear tubes!

Finally conquered ranch dressing!

Ok, I realize that sounds like a really silly title, but ranch dressing is something I have tried many times over the years to make from scratch and just never found a recipe that I like. It was always too tangy, too sweet, too runny or too thick. I decided to give it another shot today and tweaked a recipe I found online, added a few things and voi-la! Ranch dressing from scratch the whole family loves!

Ranch Dressing

1/3 c. mayo

1/4 c. buttermilk

1/4 c. plain yogurt

1/2 tsp dried dill

1/2 tsp dried parsley

1/2 tsp (or a little less) salt

1/4-1/2 tsp garlic powder

fresh cracked pepper to taste

Whisk all the ingredients together and store in the fridge in a sealed glass jar.

The next thing I am going to look into making from scratch is mayonaise. I'm not a big mayo person, but all my boys like it. I read the ingredients on Kraft mayo today and.....ick!!! The first ingredient in every mayo I looked at is soybean oil. Since we are moving towards being a completely soy-free house (I'm becoming rather anti-GMO foods and soy is a huge one), I'm looking into alternatives. I found a safflower oil mayo today that I decided to buy, but it still has some soybean oil in it. So, if anyone out there has any pointers on homemade mayo, send 'em my way!

A boy and his daddy

In Caleb's class, one of their daily writing exercises is a journal. The teacher starts them off with a few words and then they write two pages. When I read through his February journal, one entry absolutely. melted. my. heart. I just had to share it....in his original spelling.

February 9, 2012

I want to be like my dad. He is smart. I help him make stuf out of would (wood). We make boes (bows) and erose (arrows) together and sleinge shotes (sling shots) and we go camping together.

Of course, in ginormous first grade writing, that took up both sides of his journal page for the day. I absolutely love reading his journal and seeing how his work has progressed over the past year.  I look forward to looking back at some of his work in a few years. And I think I might just pull the sweet things like this out if (or maybe I should say when) he goes through an ugly teenager phase. 

Make-my-own recipes

This past year, I have started making almost all of my household cleaners. I've been doing it in part to save money but also to have chemical and toxin free cleaners in my home. There are many great "green" and "safe" products out there, but they are much more expensive that making my own!  I wrote a previous post on my laundry detergent and baby wipes so but I really wanted to put my picture on here so I can pin these ideas on Pintrest! I know, I know, total geek!

Laundry Detergent

1 c. Borax

1 c. Super Washing Soda

1 bar Ivory soap, grated

I have been using this for all of my laundry and love it!

Here's another recipe I've been using and LOVING. It's an all purpose spray cleaner that I use on counters, tables, for a quick spill on the tile, etc.

All-Purpose Spray

2 tsp Borax

1 tsp Dr. Bronner's castille soap

Dissolve and gently shake in a 32 ounce spray bottle. 

6 months ago, I bought a 32 ounce bottle of Dr. Bronner's lavender castille soap for about $15.  It's super concentrated and you only need tiny amounts for cleaners. I also use it diluted way down to refill my foaming hand soap dispensers (about 1 ounce of soap to 6-8 ounces of water). Each bottle of the Method  foaming hand soap I was using costs $2.70 (on sale), so getting 25 refills and a whole gaggle of other cleaners out of a $15 bottle of soap saves a LOT of money and a LOT of plastic! 

By way of a disclaimer, I was turned onto Bronner's soap from perusing over on younghouselove.com. Check it out sometime...it's a GREAT site for household projects, decor, cleaning, organizing, etc.

Banana bread

I posted on FB this evening about a healthy, real food, homemade snack both of my boys love so I thought I'd share the recipe with ya'll. Plus, I've become such a Pintrest geek that I wanted to put a picture of something on my blog that I could pin! :)

Banana Oat Bread

(recipe from Karen Selph, my mama)

Ingredients: 

1/2 c. butter, softened 

1/2 c. sugar

2 eggs

1 c. flour (I use stone ground whole wheat and it works great)

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp cinnamon

1 1/2 c. mashed ripe banana

1/4 c. milk

1 cup rolled oats

Cream the butter and sugar together. (Side note: if you want a lower fat version, I have also replaced 1/4 cup of butter with 1/4 cup applesauce and it turns out good too). Beat in the eggs. In a separate bowl, combine the dry ingredients except for the oats. In another bowl, combine the banana and milk. Alternate adding the dry ingredients and milk mixture to the butter, sugar and eggs. Stir in rolled oats.

Pour mixture into a greased 9x5x3 loaf pan and bake 1 hour at 350 degrees.
Enjoy!!

When normal feels beautiful

Tonight, as we got the boys in bed after coming home from some friends house, I found myself wondering why this weekend felt so wonderful. There was nothing spectacular about this weekend, nothing at all. And yet, it felt amazing. A sunny Saturday morning jog by myself, picking out my new kitchen sink with my grandma-in-law, hanging out at home with my boys all afternoon then church on Sunday morning that I got to sit quietly through, followed by a restful afternoon and then hanging out with friends. Nothing fancy. Just normal. It was the first weekend in months that we were all home, no one was sick, the weather was fantastic and the only downer was the kids melting down about not wanting to eat what I made for dinner on Saturday night.  If there's one thing I learned after a very trying year for our little family, it is to enjoy the normal stuff.  The run-of-the-mill weekends at home, the nights where I don't have to get out of bed to tend to a sick child or the days I'm not running from doctor appointment to doctor appointment and can spend time doing things I want to do at home. This weekend was one of those times that reminded me that sometimes normal feels beautiful. And, I am so thankful for normal.

2011 in a nutshell

2011 was quite the year for our family! The winter started us off with a very sick baby and house hunting. Spring brought dozens of doctor appointments that eventually led to a diagnosis for the aforementioned sick baby as well as finding a house. Late spring and early summer brought moving after 10 years of being in the same place...no small task, I might add. Most of the summer was focused on adopting 2 little girls we had fallen deeply in love with, only to have that dream crushed in early August. Fall brought all kinds of challenges with starting our oldest in a regular school, dealing with a terrible school, switching schools and then wading through the testing and adjustments of new diagnoses for him. Along with all that, work has kept us both busy and on our toes and settling into a new rhythm in our new home has been a tad challenging.

As overwhelming as it was to deal with both of our boys being diagnosed with life-changing diagnoses this year, I feel like we are in a far better place today than 1 year ago. Noah's immune system seems to be getting stronger, Caleb is adjusting well to meds and thriving in school and we are empowered with a whole lot more information and can continue to move forward towards healing. I'm encouraged with the hope of being able to spend a bit more time here and there working on me, just Julie, and letting the little things go.

I saw a quote either on Facebook or Pintrest a couple days ago that said something along the lines of "the new year is a blank book...what are you going to do with it?". While I believe that my choices and day to day living have a definite impact on my future, I am glad to know that my Creator has already written the pages of my book of life and already has things laid out for me. My job and hope this year is to continually look to Him and to seek to serve Him as I discover His writing in my book of 2012!

Welcome, 2012....bring it on!