Now there's a strange title!! This has been a really, really nice week and fantastic weekend. It was the first week in MONTHS that we did not have any doctor appointments for either boy...more on that part later. And, I was planning a surprise party for my hubby's birthday. For some reason, although this was not a milestone birthday, I had the urge to plan a fun, surprise game night/birthday party with our friends. It was fun to plan an adult birthday party after 5 years of basically only doing kids parties. I enjoyed picking foods and drinks I knew he would like and gathering some of his best friends to surprise him. It was really, really hard to keep the secret from him, though. Yesterday alone, I nearly spilled the beans at least four or five times. During naptime, before the party, I was pondering why it had been so hard for me to keep this surprise from him and my thoughts quickly turned to deep, heart matters. We have been blessed with the ability and desire to chat about the mundane things of our days, where we went, what we did, even the random, insignificant things. When we're in the car and drive past certain places, often times a memory will be jogged that I tell him about. So many times over the past few weeks that has happened and it happened over and over again yesterday. I didn't like having to guard my thoughts and impede the freedom of sharing those thoughts with my hubby. What this led me to realize was that I am so thankful to be in a marriage where we have nothing to hide from each other. I honestly can't fathom what harboring secrets must do to someone's heart and soul. So, although throwing a surprise birthday party is nothing like hiding a bad secret, it was somewhat of a relief to be able to identify why it was so hard to keep the secret!!! It was well worth it, though, because he was totally shocked....honestly had NO CLUE and we both had a ton of fun!
Now to the apprehension part. Most of our friends and family know now that Noah is in the process of being diagnosed with an immune system disorder. Right now, all we know is that he is IgG deficient. IgG is one of the immunoglobulins (a kind of cell) our body needs to fight off infections. When you don't have enough of it, your body gets a couple different types of infections over and over again. For him it has been chronic ear infections, mouth sores, strep throat and a fungal infection in his intestines. As you can imagine, this is a painful, miserable cycle for anyone to endure, let alone a baby! The really crazy thing is that these kiddos manage to continue to grow and thrive and basically are the picture of health between infections. In the past 6 months, Noah has not been more than 13 days without being sick. It's taken a toll not only on him but on us as his parents, and his big brother. It's not easy having a brother who gets so much attention for being sick and requires so much time and energy to be spent on him. This coming Thursday, we are going to our follow up appointment with the immunologist where we will hopefully find out how severe this deficiency is and what, if anything, we are going to do with it. There are a couple of outcomes we are aware of at this point, and quite honestly, they both stink. After that appointment, we also have a several hour long appointment with an allergist who is hopefully going to help connect a few more of the dots. This whole process with Noah has been such a puzzle with so many random pieces many of which do not appear to be related whatsoever at a first look. We are praying that we can get all the pieces put together and formulate a strategy for healing our little boy. Needless to say, I am apprehensive about the outcome of our appointments this week. I'm apprehensive about how much more my comfortable little world will be rocked. But, I refuse to be fearful. I know that our Savior has a plan for my little boy and his will will be done. I'll update later this week or on the weekend when we get more answers. Please pray with us for our little guy!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
What is the world coming to?
Every once in a while, I am shaken out of my little safe bubble. Last night after having another wonderful, uninterrupted night of sleep (which, I might add, I could get used to!), I turned on the Today show right as it began. The leading stories were a devastating earthquake in New Zealand, four people in yachts killed by pirates, and worsening unrest in Libya. It took me aback. Don't worry, I won't get up on an "end times" soap box, but I was shaken a bit.
I think that my background having grown up in a third world country (or, I guess I should be PC and call it a "developing country") and having lived blocks away from intense poverty and frequent violence, I am a little more aware of the bubble many of us live in. Sometimes it bothers me that I, too, have become complacent and comfortable living in my little world. Even though I live a much more modest life than many of my friends, I only have to think for a second about some of my best friends growing up and I realize that I am rich. Yes, we have had our struggles, especially with our little guys health recently, but all in all, I am blessed beyond measure. My heart aches for the millions of people who would give just about anything to have a simple, modest life like mine. It's humbling to think about.
All this unrest and the awful things going on in the world, I am thankful for my safe little world. But, I will not forget about those who are suffering and I will not stop looking forward to the day my Savior comes back!
I think that my background having grown up in a third world country (or, I guess I should be PC and call it a "developing country") and having lived blocks away from intense poverty and frequent violence, I am a little more aware of the bubble many of us live in. Sometimes it bothers me that I, too, have become complacent and comfortable living in my little world. Even though I live a much more modest life than many of my friends, I only have to think for a second about some of my best friends growing up and I realize that I am rich. Yes, we have had our struggles, especially with our little guys health recently, but all in all, I am blessed beyond measure. My heart aches for the millions of people who would give just about anything to have a simple, modest life like mine. It's humbling to think about.
All this unrest and the awful things going on in the world, I am thankful for my safe little world. But, I will not forget about those who are suffering and I will not stop looking forward to the day my Savior comes back!
Monday, February 21, 2011
An Amazing Woman
This past weekend, I got to go spend some time with my friend Nichole. I have to say, she is pretty amazing. So is her family. But, before I tell you about how awesome she is, let me rewind just a bit.
Nichole and I met our sophomore year (now that we're getting old, I don't even want to put the year anymore!) at Fresno Pacific College in good ol' Module G. She was a transfer student from a little hick town in Northern California who was adjusting to life in the "big city" of Fresno. I, on the other hand, was entering my second year at FPC, still adjusting to life in this cow-town called Fresno after having grown up in a large city in a foreign country. We came from backgrounds that were about as different as you could imagine but that didn't stop us from becoming friends and developing a relationship that has spanned several phases of life and over 15 years. We had our share of fun in college and stayed friends afterward. She met and eventually married a great guy from Canada, Jason, and became a teacher in Sacramento. I had the honor of being in their wedding.
A few months after Jason and Nichole's wedding, I met John. It was ironic because at their wedding, I remember feeling very much like I was "always a bridesmaid and never a bride". John and I formed a special bond with them when he drove to Sacramento then hunted for their apartment (where I was staying during a clinical rotation) and then got down on one knee to ask me to marry him in their living room. We were all a bit shocked and excited. Less than a year later, they were in our wedding.
Now, fast forward a few years. After our weddings, we had gone through some periods of time where we lost touch with each other. I don't even remember how, but we got back in touch when John and I had just had our miracle baby and they were pregnant with theirs. We've managed to mostly stay in touch since then and have had some great family time together...day trips just to hang out, family camping trips, big girl time in Turlock (the half way point between our homes) and most recently, a weekend hanging out at their house.
Nichole has always been one of the most organized, bright, creative and persistent people I've ever known. Her life over the past 18 months have left that description in the dust. Their little girl, Elianna, who is 6 days older than Noah, has had a rough first year and a half of life. Through much agony, research, perseverance, tears, and hours in prayer, she was diagnosed with food protein induced enterocolitis (FPIES) which essentially means that her body mounts a severe reaction to any form of protein, which by the way, is in just about EVERY food. This is a very rare and poorly understood disorder that doctors basically don't know what to do about. Nichole has spent countless hours researching, networking and coming up with a plan to literally save her baby's life by finding safe foods to feed her. Little Ellie simply CANNOT eat regular food or her body literally goes into a gastrointestinally driven shock.
In her hours of research, Nichole discovered a doctor and diet plan from the UK that has the potential to completely heal Ellie's GI tract and hopefully trick it into not hyper-reacting to all forms of food. It involves making homemade meat broths and mixing them with little bits of her prescription formula. Not only does she have to make and store all this broth, which takes hours and hours, but she has to drive all over her area looking for meats that come from grass-fed, chemical free animals. Not an easy task. As if all that were not enough, Nichole has had to take a brave stand in not going with the local doctor's advice and go it on her own. Well, not on her own. Nichole is also one of the most faithful, passionately committed to her Lord women I have ever known. She has literally spent hours on her knees praying and seeking His guidance in this process.
One of the most amazing things to me about all of this is that our lives have been intertwined in such unique ways over the past few years. We have struggled through many of the same issues and through it we have prayed for each other, listened to each other and sent countless e-mails and texts to help each other through. As I have seen glimpses of what her life has been like the past 18 months, I am so thankful for her friendship. Her example of faith, perseverance, and devotion to her family is inspiring. Really. She's amazing.
Nichole and I met our sophomore year (now that we're getting old, I don't even want to put the year anymore!) at Fresno Pacific College in good ol' Module G. She was a transfer student from a little hick town in Northern California who was adjusting to life in the "big city" of Fresno. I, on the other hand, was entering my second year at FPC, still adjusting to life in this cow-town called Fresno after having grown up in a large city in a foreign country. We came from backgrounds that were about as different as you could imagine but that didn't stop us from becoming friends and developing a relationship that has spanned several phases of life and over 15 years. We had our share of fun in college and stayed friends afterward. She met and eventually married a great guy from Canada, Jason, and became a teacher in Sacramento. I had the honor of being in their wedding.
A few months after Jason and Nichole's wedding, I met John. It was ironic because at their wedding, I remember feeling very much like I was "always a bridesmaid and never a bride". John and I formed a special bond with them when he drove to Sacramento then hunted for their apartment (where I was staying during a clinical rotation) and then got down on one knee to ask me to marry him in their living room. We were all a bit shocked and excited. Less than a year later, they were in our wedding.
Now, fast forward a few years. After our weddings, we had gone through some periods of time where we lost touch with each other. I don't even remember how, but we got back in touch when John and I had just had our miracle baby and they were pregnant with theirs. We've managed to mostly stay in touch since then and have had some great family time together...day trips just to hang out, family camping trips, big girl time in Turlock (the half way point between our homes) and most recently, a weekend hanging out at their house.
Nichole has always been one of the most organized, bright, creative and persistent people I've ever known. Her life over the past 18 months have left that description in the dust. Their little girl, Elianna, who is 6 days older than Noah, has had a rough first year and a half of life. Through much agony, research, perseverance, tears, and hours in prayer, she was diagnosed with food protein induced enterocolitis (FPIES) which essentially means that her body mounts a severe reaction to any form of protein, which by the way, is in just about EVERY food. This is a very rare and poorly understood disorder that doctors basically don't know what to do about. Nichole has spent countless hours researching, networking and coming up with a plan to literally save her baby's life by finding safe foods to feed her. Little Ellie simply CANNOT eat regular food or her body literally goes into a gastrointestinally driven shock.
In her hours of research, Nichole discovered a doctor and diet plan from the UK that has the potential to completely heal Ellie's GI tract and hopefully trick it into not hyper-reacting to all forms of food. It involves making homemade meat broths and mixing them with little bits of her prescription formula. Not only does she have to make and store all this broth, which takes hours and hours, but she has to drive all over her area looking for meats that come from grass-fed, chemical free animals. Not an easy task. As if all that were not enough, Nichole has had to take a brave stand in not going with the local doctor's advice and go it on her own. Well, not on her own. Nichole is also one of the most faithful, passionately committed to her Lord women I have ever known. She has literally spent hours on her knees praying and seeking His guidance in this process.
One of the most amazing things to me about all of this is that our lives have been intertwined in such unique ways over the past few years. We have struggled through many of the same issues and through it we have prayed for each other, listened to each other and sent countless e-mails and texts to help each other through. As I have seen glimpses of what her life has been like the past 18 months, I am so thankful for her friendship. Her example of faith, perseverance, and devotion to her family is inspiring. Really. She's amazing.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Just one of those days...but thankful anyway
Here's a brief description of our morning: exhausted mama pays bills and gets ready to go while sick baby who screamed more than he slept last night napped, hop in car to go to doctor to find the cause for the screaming, battery is dead. Self-employed hubby with flexible schedule comes and jumps car. Mama and baby proceed to doctor to find a completely full parking lot. Accidentally park in a handicap spot which was not discovered until turning engine off, try to move and discover battery dead again. Mama and baby go into the doctor's office, praying no one calls parking enforcement before hubby arrives to swap cars. Wait 90 minutes to see doctor for 5 minutes and find out screaming was caused by a blistered, ready to rupture eardrum. Leave doctor, get in hubby's car and notice there's no gas in it. Manage to get to gas station (whilst hubby is getting new battery for my car), pick up lunch and come home.
Now we're home and the boys are napping and I'm honestly not sure if I want to laugh or cry. So, instead I decided to blog and count my blessings. I'm thankful for a husband who has a very flexible schedule who can rescue me and fix things without having to wait around for AAA every time. I'm thankful for the substantial raise I just got that took the stress out of more unexpected expenses. I'm thankful for things like numbing ear drops and a good (albeit, late) pediatrician. I'm thankful for friends that understand how I feel, send encouraging texts, pop up to chat on Facebook or call to check in. I'm thankful for my parents, both of whom called to check in on their "baby girl" today.
It's a good feeling to know that the things I am thankful for far outweigh my woes. And, in case you were wondering, if you type and bold the word thankful a whole bunch of times, it starts to look really weird!
Now we're home and the boys are napping and I'm honestly not sure if I want to laugh or cry. So, instead I decided to blog and count my blessings. I'm thankful for a husband who has a very flexible schedule who can rescue me and fix things without having to wait around for AAA every time. I'm thankful for the substantial raise I just got that took the stress out of more unexpected expenses. I'm thankful for things like numbing ear drops and a good (albeit, late) pediatrician. I'm thankful for friends that understand how I feel, send encouraging texts, pop up to chat on Facebook or call to check in. I'm thankful for my parents, both of whom called to check in on their "baby girl" today.
It's a good feeling to know that the things I am thankful for far outweigh my woes. And, in case you were wondering, if you type and bold the word thankful a whole bunch of times, it starts to look really weird!
Friday, February 4, 2011
What a week!
I've often felt as though my life goes through phases of feeling like a roller coaster. Sometimes, it's just a little "kiddie" coaster, other times it's more along the lines of Disney's Thunder Mountain but this week has felt more like one of the insane roller coasters at Six Flags (none of which do I know the names before because I. hate. them. period.). This week was pretty darn close to the Six Flags level. Here's a few bullets of the important parts:
Yesterday evening, after dredging through some reading exercises with a VERY uninterested 5 year old, and having already reached the "I'm going to spank you and put you to bed if you do not change your attitude" point, Caleb completely floored me. We decided to end our unhappy reading session by reading some stories in Caleb's story Bible. Caleb loves reading his Bible stories and always has really great questions. After reading the story of John baptizing Jesus, discussing baptism and when he can do it, Caleb asked me to help him ask Jesus into his heart. We have talked about this before with him and he's never shown any interest in making that decision. John and I have continued to pray for him and water the little seed that has been planted. We prayed together and then Caleb had a very sweet (albeit 5 year-old-ish) conversation with Jesus himself. I never thought I would feel as elated as I did the moment we found out we were finally going to have a baby. But, I did. This was amazing. Knowing that my son had just given his life to our Savior and that his soul was now saved was almost indescribable. We talked about how Feb. 3 is now his "Jesus birthday" and what better way to celebrate than cupcakes? None! At least in my child's mind!
So, it's now Friday night and I'm laying in bed bloggin' away with so much swirling through my head. I'm trying to focus on the positive and not let my mind be consumed with all the "what if's". It's hard to rest assured that no matter what the outcome of Noah's testing, the house inspection or anything else, my Savior already knows the big plan and has it all figured out. In the meantime, I'm just gonna keep riding the roller coaster.
- Monday: While I am at work, John and realtor are negotiating an offer we hope the owner of the house we want will accept. No final word on whether it will happen or we will be out-bid. Feeling a bit apprehensive and trying really hard to not get my hopes too high.
- Tuesday: Seller accepted offer and (barring any catastrophes with the inspection) we're going to end up in an AMAZING home! Feeling totally elated!!! We are finally going to get to move!!
- Wednesday: While blow drying my hair before work, I have sudden, severe, breath-taking and crushing pain in the left side of my chest, neck, jaw and shoulder. You have GOT to be kidding me!!! After an urgent trip to the doctor and what was described as a "beautiful" EKG, we come to the conclusion that I had a severe spasm of my entire chest wall. (Collateral damage from lugging my 25 pound chunk around on my left hip). I leave with instructions to take a muscle relaxer for three days and try not to over-do it. Ya, right.
- Thursday: Appointment with immunologist who actually ends up heightening my level of concern about a potential problem with Noah's immune system. And there's no "good" scenario when talking about immune system deficiencies. It's never good when a doctor says, "We teach in school that this just doesn't happen in a child who does NOT have an immune system problem". Now, we all know that not everything taught in school is infallible, but still not the kind of thing this mama wants to hear in reference to her baby.
Yesterday evening, after dredging through some reading exercises with a VERY uninterested 5 year old, and having already reached the "I'm going to spank you and put you to bed if you do not change your attitude" point, Caleb completely floored me. We decided to end our unhappy reading session by reading some stories in Caleb's story Bible. Caleb loves reading his Bible stories and always has really great questions. After reading the story of John baptizing Jesus, discussing baptism and when he can do it, Caleb asked me to help him ask Jesus into his heart. We have talked about this before with him and he's never shown any interest in making that decision. John and I have continued to pray for him and water the little seed that has been planted. We prayed together and then Caleb had a very sweet (albeit 5 year-old-ish) conversation with Jesus himself. I never thought I would feel as elated as I did the moment we found out we were finally going to have a baby. But, I did. This was amazing. Knowing that my son had just given his life to our Savior and that his soul was now saved was almost indescribable. We talked about how Feb. 3 is now his "Jesus birthday" and what better way to celebrate than cupcakes? None! At least in my child's mind!
So, it's now Friday night and I'm laying in bed bloggin' away with so much swirling through my head. I'm trying to focus on the positive and not let my mind be consumed with all the "what if's". It's hard to rest assured that no matter what the outcome of Noah's testing, the house inspection or anything else, my Savior already knows the big plan and has it all figured out. In the meantime, I'm just gonna keep riding the roller coaster.
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