Peeling back layers

The journey to get to the bottom of Caleb's attention and focus issues has become one of the most difficult paths we've gone down as a family. Although it's a completely different set of issues with very different daily implications, it's been every bit as difficult as the process we went through with Noah earlier this year. Needless to say, it's been painful....draining....exhausting....and quite frankly, it sucks. But, I have a very dear friend who has reminded me at critical points along the way that there is always HOPE. I am so very thankful for HOPE. Hope for healing, hope for balance, hope for a child who will know that no matter what obstacles, no matter how many ups and downs, his mama and papa love him fiercely and will always do anything in their power to help him.  And, in the meantime, we will continue to peel back the layers of everything that's going on with our big boy.

Happy update

To be totally honest, this week was really hard....for many reasons....but there were  several things along the way that made me stop and be thankful for all the good things going on.  In spite of the time change, I realized that the boys and I have finally settled into a pretty good evening routine. One of the challenges of having a hubby whose primary working hours are in the late afternoons and evenings is that I'm on my own with the boys for dinner bath and bed 4-5 nights a week. Although we have the flip-side blessing of him being around for the morning craziness, evenings with 2 tired boys and a tired mama can be very long.  I've long since realized that a routine is very important. It felt like it took forever after moving to get settled into a routine, but I feel like we're mostly there. Obviously, there are times that evenings are still rough and the routine goes out the window, but it felt really good to realize that we've finally settled into a bit of a groove!

The second thing that we are thrilled about is how well Caleb has responded to his medication. We started him on the lowest dose last week and saw some nice changes but realized we weren't quite there yet.  After re-testing, the doctor recommending upping his dose to the next level. We saw BIG improvements in his focus. His teacher was also impressed with the difference it made. While medicating my child is not something I ever thought I'd do, it is truly pure joy to see him function to the best of his abilities. I really wanted to know how he was feeling about it, so I asked how his body felt now that he's taking this medicine. His response? "My brain feels SO SMART, Mama!". Brought tears to my eyes. We very quickly, though, talked about how his brain was already smart and the medication is just helping him USE the smart part of his brain.

So, there are some of the happy thoughts for the week....more to come later!

Expect the unexpected

**Similar to my post about our decisions in schooling our boy, this post comes from a desire to share our story not just for our own sake but in hopes that maybe reading about our journey and struggles may be encouraging to others who are dealing with similar challenges.**

In my nearly 7 years as a mama, I have learned time and time again that I should be prepared for the unexpected. I can't even recall all the unexpected scenarios that have played out over the course of Caleb's little life. And yet, when it came down to our most recent quest for a diagnosis and help for him, I was once again completely caught off guard when it came to dealing with the outcome.

I have known in my heart of hearts for some time now that Caleb has attention and focus issues. Let's be real, he comes by it honestly! I also knew that, while we could compensate for it while homeschooling, there would come a time that we would need to formally address the matter. I could tell as we got into more challenging curriculum last spring that it was going to be hard to keep him focused on school no matter what setting we were in. After coping with the transition in schools, he's done a really good job settling into a routine now. His teacher often praises him and he is doing well, but he has a very, very hard time staying focused long enough to complete his work. So, we decided to proceed with further evaluation....the same evaluation I indefinitely postponed last year.

We are blessed to have a very experienced neuropsychologist here in town who has been a pioneer in brain research for the last 30 years.  He is one of the few in this area that does objective testing for ADHD and is extremely judicious in prescribing medication and adjusting dosages. Needless to say, the initial testing concluded with no question that he, in fact, does have ADHD. But, that's not all there was to it. Hence the unexpected part.

80% of children with ADHD also have some other underlying disorder. In my mind, the issues we have seen at home all seemed to fit under the umbrella of ADHD but, that is not the case. After some preliminary testing, he appears to have an auditory processing disorder. This is not something that will get better with the traditional treatments for ADHD but will require other therapies. Before we can even get to the core of the issue, though, we have to get his focus under control so he can have further testing.

After a lot of questioning, researching, and prayer, we went ahead with some medical testing to make sure that there were no issues that could be exacerbated by a stimulant medication. We got the go-ahead from his pediatrician on Friday and so we have started him on the lowest dose of Concerta. He will take it until Tuesday when he goes back to repeat the test to see if his focus is better. The doctor anticipated that he will most likely need to go one notch above the minimum dose to get the full benefit. Hopefully in a couple weeks we'll be able to move on with more testing for the other problem.

I found myself feeling really sad and overwhelmed after learning that he didn't "just" have ADHD. It's hard to think about my baby, whom I love fiercely, having to overcome some possibly significant obstacles to learning in his life. I know and completely trust that God is completely in control of his life, but even still, my mama heart hurts a little. I wish with all my heart that I could take this burden from him  (and Noah's from him as well), but I can't. But I can, and certainly will, do everything in my power to make things a smooth for both of them as possible!