Caleb James

He is the boy we didn't know that we'd ever have but desperately wanted. He is the boy we nearly lost before he could be taken out of my womb but was miraculously protected. He is the boy that changed life as we knew it. Caleb James. 6 years later, I still love the sound of his name. There is so much to love about this boy. He is bright, kind, happy, talkative, energetic and feisty. He loves to play with his brother, his Papa, Mama or just about anyone else who he can engage. He loves to do Tae Kwon Do with his Papa. He loves to play with his legos and train tracks. He loves to draw, fingerpaint, make costumes and dress up. He pretty much loves life.

Over the past few years it has been pure joy to watch our boy grow from infant to toddler to preschooler and now to a truly "big boy". This past year has had some very important and life changing events for Caleb. In September, he started kindergarten. He has loved doing his school at home and has learned to read, write, do simple math, and begun to understand a lot about the world around him.  He earned his yellow belt in Tae Kwon Do which made us both beam with pride. He has continued to learn what it means to be a big brother, and while there are frequent clashes, he is often heard saying to Noah, "Come on, bud, lets go play!" There is no doubt, though, that the most precious development in his life this year was his decision to ask Jesus Christ to live in his heart. We have prayed since before he was born that he would have a meaningful, personal relationship with the Lord and it was absolutely precious to witness that happen. 

Caleb, your Papa and I love you more than you could ever imagine and are so proud to be your parents. We are so grateful to get to raise you and help shape you into the Godly young man you were meant to be.  With all my love, Mama.

Being tested

So, I've been sitting on the sofa for quite a while now trying not to listen to both my boys fight going to sleep and come up with some brilliant blog post. But, I'm exhausted, anxious and just royally crabby. Noah is being treated for strep throat and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. I am trying to rest assured that everything indicates that the vaccine he got has helped him develop some defenses against strep. This will definitely test it out. It's also testing my faith and stretching me in a very uncomfortable way. Not only will we see how his system reacts to this bug, but John is out of town for the next four days. I'm definitely very spoiled in having a husband who rarely travels for more than 2 days at a time and this timing just stinks. So, for now, I pray for my boy, pray for my traveling hubby and pray for some much needed sleep. And, tomorrow, I will hopefully have the brain power and right attitude to write the beautiful piece about my big 6 year old boy I wanted to write today on his birthday!

Good news and an odd sensation

First, of course, the good news. Last week, we took Noah to have blood drawn for what I thought was going to be the same labs he had done a few months ago that led to his diagnosis.  From what I can tell, he did not actually have the same tests done, but the doctor tested him to see if his body has mounted a response to the different strands of strep he got in the vaccination. All the numbers look good (none of them are red-flagged), which I think means the vaccination did the job. The best part about that is that I think that means we no longer have to be as seriously concerned about him contracting strep, which prior to this, could have been deadly. We will get more definitive answers when we go to the doctor in two weeks and hopefully we will get more questions answered. The other good news is that Noah does not need glasses for now. The tech that evaluated him on Tuesday said that he is showing good control of his eyes when prompted to focus, so we will leave him be for now.  I was a little thrown off by seeing the tech and not the doctor as well, so I think I will feel better when we have our next follow up.  As much as I'm a sucker for glasses, I'm relieved to not have that to deal with right now!

So, now for the odd sensation. A few months ago when I was folding and packing away Noah's tiny baby clothes, I felt kinda sad and felt like I was grieving the end of an era. That is not odd for me at all, being that I hate change and all. (If you need a refresher on how I feel about change, see this post.) The odd sensation came into play this past weekend when we were moving some furniture around and put Noah in a booster seat at the table. I really enjoyed seeing four regular chairs at the table rather than three chairs and the clip on high chair thing he was in. I started thinking about how much easier it is getting to have a toddler rather than a baby. While I miss the cuddly, sweet squeaks of an itty bitty one I certainly don't miss the night-time feedings and nap schedules. I enjoy seeing how he engages in activities, imitates his big brother and tries to do things on his own. His little wandering-eye meltdowns are even cute! I've especially been treasuring having a HEALTHY toddler. I am looking forward to all that is to come with this little guy and the joys having two  little boys, even though it means lots of change!

Another diagnosis and specialist

Today I did something that felt very odd. I toted Noah off to my office to have him evaluated by an audiologist.  Filling out the paperwork as a parent and sitting in the waiting room was weird. And honestly, I didn't like it. Don't know why, but it just felt wrong.  You may remember that at the appointment we had with an allergist the day Noah was diagnosed, he raised some concern about his speech and hearing. He insisted that I "should KNOW how delayed his speech is (because I'm a pediatric PT, apparently) and that his hearing should definitely be checked. I wasn't happy overall with this doctor, so it was easy for me to blow off his comments about how delayed his speech is but I did actually agree that we should have his hearing checked because he's had so many ear infections. Yes, I know, I have a tendency to filter stuff out, blow things off all together or simply not hear what I don't want to hear sometimes, especially when it comes to my child.  Not good, but sometimes it's my defense mechanism. Anyway, we were able to get an appointment very quickly (no, not because I pulled any strings, but just because I so happened to be standing next to the scheduler when the cancellation list popped up).

The end result of the appointment was another good news/not so great news scenario: very good news is that Noah does NOT have any permanent hearing loss from all the infections. Not so great news is that he should have a 20 word vocabulary and be putting 2 words together on a regular basis. (Which, incidentally is VERY different than the check list my pediatrician had and hence the cause of his chagrin to refer us for the test). He has 5 words and rarely strings two together. The only actual phrase he has is "hi papa"! The audiologist had one of the speechies come in and give me some suggestions of things to start working on with him but she also strongly recommended that we have him evaluated thoroughly ASAP. Right now, he does not have any fluid in his ears, so he's hearing perfectly and thus we should be working with him on making sounds now.  Apparently when you have chronic ear infections,  you go through periods of time where everything sounds like you have your fingers in your ears or are underwater. Which is why Noah's speech has not developed properly. He makes all kinds of noises with different intonations but doesn't actually form many words.  It was very comforting to know that his delay is isolated to only his expressive speech. His receptive speech and ability to communicate his needs and wants are excellent. He's a sharp boy....he just hasn't figured out how to say many words yet.

For some reason, I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that there is now another thing "wrong" with my baby boy. We are now up to 5 specialists dealing with 5 different diagnoses. While only one of them is potentially life-threatening, it's discouraging to have such a long list at such a tender, young age. I know that I shouldn't complain about having to put so much effort into parenting (that's my JOB and my JOY) but some days are harder than others. It certainly doesn't help that Noah has had a very rough week again and we are going on four nights of little sleep as we deal with his tummy pain again. Tired Julie is never the most optimistic or equipped to cope with more bad news. That's probably true of us all, though, I would imagine!

So, there are my ramblings for the day. Once again, I am deeply grateful for a Heavenly Father who loves me and my children more than I will ever know and who has already put all the pieces of this puzzle together for me!

Beautiful month

Update (Sunday): I started writing this post last night when all was well. Noah is spiraling down-hill into one of his gut infections this afternoon which is soooooo disappointing, but I wanted to share my thoughts and my gratitude for the past month anyway.

The past month has been wonderfully beautiful for us. We've had almost our entire family come to visit at some point over the past few weeks, there have only been scheduled doctor visits (ie, no sick people), and we've been able to purchase some much needed new furniture in hopes of moving in the next month or so. The best part about the past month, though, is that Noah has been WELL. I've had to sit and let that sink in a bit.....he's been WELL. Although keeping him well has involved some difficult choices, it has been well worth it to see a thriving, happy boy.

Our month of visitor started with my parents being here. I wrote a post about how therapeutic is was to have them here. My mom and I had lots of girl time, we got to go look at the house and start planning some new stuff we wanted there, we took a day trip up to Pine Flat dam which was beautiful and had lots and lots of time for playing and just being. The day before my parents left, John's sister and niece came for 5 days. Unfortunately, it was the coldest, ickiest 5 days of our spring so far, but we managed to have fun anyway. We tried out a raw food restaurant (my sis-in-law is vegan), played at the park and took the kids to Bounce U when it was really cold and rainy.

A few days after they were here, my sister and her kiddos came in. The cousins had so much fun playing with each other and my sister and I got to catch up after far to long of not seeing each other.  The highlight of that visit was taking the kids to the beach. Sophia and Wesley had never been to the ocean before, so it was a very exciting trip for them. Quite precious.

This wasn't the best picture of all their faces, but I love the sunset light. The same day that Janine and the kids left, John's brother, sister-in-law and niece arrived for the final family visit. They were here three days and we didn't get to spend as much time with them as we would have liked.  John's brother got sick and our boys were pretty well out of whack by the time the fourth week of visitors rolled around. We enjoyed seeing them, though, and the boys enjoyed having another cousin to play with!

The whole month visitors, special trips and fun things to do was sweetened all the more by the fact that Noah was well. The entire time. I'm very much looking forward to having his labs repeated this week to see if we can tell what made the most difference. But, for now, we're definitely going to keep doing what we're doing!

Another update: Noah was sick on Sunday (yesterday) but seems to be almost back to his normal self today. I think he may have just had a run-of-the-mill bug since John was also not feeling well. That's actually very encouraging in our world!