Julie and change

These two words really should not go in a sentence together. Period. Except maybe if separated by a "hates". It's always fascinated me that my sister and I, who are very close in age, grew up in the same family, and experienced the same moves have turned out so very different in this area.  She loves change.  She loves packing, moving and all the stuff that goes along with it. I, however, unequivocally HATE change.  Even good change.  It messes with my head and wreaks havoc on my heart. It is something that I have really had to work on dealing with in a better way since being mom.  Being a mother to little boys (probably kids in general) forces me to deal with change on a regular basis. Having a healthy child forced me to deal with change and now that I have a child with a serious medical condition, it's forcing me to deal with change on a whole different level.

But, in the midst of all the struggles and heartache over our little guy the past few months, we have a major GOOD change coming up: we are finally moving out of our very small, first "home" we never intended to stay more than a couple years in!!! I am so excited about finally have some space to breathe and a lot more fun stuff for the boys to do but at the same time, the idea of packing and moving kinda makes me want to barf! This evening, I decided to pack up all my living room decorations since I needed to do a thorough dusting anyway, I figured I might as well pack all this stuff now rather than dusting it again in a couple weeks when we move. It made me anxious. I started to feel all sappy about packing stuff and seeing bare spaces. Crazy, eh? This is a GOOD CHANGE!!!!! And I'm anxious about it! But, I am so thankful for the blessing of this new home and can already envision my sweet little boys running around and loving it. That's what I'm having to focus on. Well, that and suppressing the major panic attack I feel like constantly lurks these days.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, with prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."  Phil 4: 4-7.

Prayer and God's grace will get me through. Not only the move, but our long journey ahead with Noah. I'm so thankful for His grace and His plan for my life. It's a really, really good thing that it's not up to this crazy, feisty red-head!!