I will never forget one of the first times I sat feeding Caleb late one night, feeling sorry for myself that my baby was STILL not sleeping through the night, poor me, boo-hoo, the whole bit. I had this moment of utter conviction when this little voice in my head said, "Julie, you know how many mommy's there are in the world at this very moment that would give anything to have a healthy breast or clean bottle to offer her baby?" Ouch. But, you know what, that voice was absolutely right and gave me a much healthier attitude about feeding my baby in the middle of the night.
The conviction deepened this morning as I found myself frustrated that Noah wasn't interested in any of the options I was giving him for breakfast but I really didn't want to put him in the car for a long drive with an empty tummy. Again, I was whining to myself and then settled on feeding him some yogurt (his favorite). This time, I was reminded of 2 mommies I know: a dear friend of mine who literally cannot feed her little girl (who is the exact same age as Noah) because she has a very serious and poorly understood disease that makes her allergic to ALL forms of protein. She gets violently ill if she eats 99% of food. Her mama would give just about anything to just pull ordinary food out of the fridge and feed it to her. Then I thought of a former patient of mine who had severe allergies to several different foods and had nearly died of anaphylaxis three times in his first two years of life. Another mama who would love to be able to feed her little one on the fly and not have to worry.
I can't imagine not being able to feed my boys. I can't imagine not knowing if he had put something in his mouth that could cause a serious reaction or worse. I can't imagine not having had adequate nutrition to nurse my boys or clean water and safe formula to bottle feed them. I'll be honest, I'm glad I don't have to know exactly what that feels like. I think the point that keeps hitting home is that it is a privilege to be able to feed my boys. Period. Thank you, Lord.
I don't know about you, but those were deep thoughts to begin this next year! Here's to healthy children and good attitudes in 2011!
I was thinking along the same lines the other day ... Isaac was screaming at the gate while I was trying to put away laundry, and I thought, "I HATE hearing him scream!" And then right on the heels of that thought came, "I am SO GLAD that I can listen to him scream." Things could have turned out much differently. Love you, Jules ... happy new year!
ReplyDeleteYes...her mama would give just about anything. BUT we all have our own struggle to see the blessings. Its in our nature. And it hurts. Dont ever think yours is less or not as valid than anyone else!
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