Changes....and they're mostly good!

It would be a huge understatement to say that the past 5-6 weeks have been a challenging and overwhelming at times. When John and I first decided to take Caleb to the neuropsychologist, we really had no idea what we were getting in to. In my simplistic (albeit delusional) mind, we were simply going to be formally told what we already knew, that Caleb has ADHD. Well, for starters, it's not even called ADHD anymore! He has attention deficit disorder with hyperactivity. Ok, whatever! Here we are 6 weeks later after hours of testing, 3 diagnoses and 2 medications in a completely different place.

We have managed to get Caleb's focus and attention into an "above average" range and have literally seen him take off at both at home and school. He's only a couple points away from a second grade reading level, he's excelling at math and science and his writing has improved dramatically. We've seen a whole new side of him that we always knew was there but only got glimpses of before. He will spend hours drawing, creating and coloring all kinds of little boy master pieces. He loves to build all kinds of things with his itty bitty legos that he never had the patience before. It is amazing to see him do things that he's always been capable of but didn't quite have the focus for! The look of sheer amazement and joy that I see in his eyes when he accomplishes something new is a beautiful thing!

Before I start to sound like my child is a poster child for medication, this has definitely all come at a cost. There have been side effects of the medication (almost a complete loss of appetite and difficulty sleeping, both of which we are dealing with for now) and the down-sides of having above-average focus (which in his case includes some moderate to severe sensory issues and OCD type behaviors). The sensory and OCD issues are the hardest to deal with and I am very thankful to have some non-medication pathways to explore in dealing with these.

As a feisty mama bear, I have wrestled with all of this immensely in the past few weeks. It has all weighed heavily on my heart at times. And yet, I know that right now, this is where we are supposed to be. I have two dear friends who are dealing with lifelong challenges with their children who have been an invaluable support to me. One has a 7 year old boy who was recently diagnosed with similar issues and they are exploring both medication and non-medication therapies for him. We've been able to bounce ideas off each other and encourage one another along the way. My other friend has a toddler with severe food intolerances and allergies who has gone down an incredibly difficult road of healing with a diet that is truly healing her entire family from the inside out. It is awe inspiring to hear the victories that have come from her passionate commitment. She has also been a source of support, encouragement and resources.  I have been compiling a TON of information on neurochemical imbalances and gut issues that I need to slowly process and pray about whether or not there is a better way to deal with Caleb's issues. For now, though, I am at peace with the choices we have made and know that the benefits are outweighing the unwanted challenges that come along the way. One small step at a time.....

My boy of few words

Aside from the crazy ups and downs on our journey with Caleb over the past month or so, we've entered into a really difficult phase with our little guy. A couple months ago, when he was first diagnosed with a speech delay, he had about a 12 month gap between his expressive speech and his receptive speech. He initially had about 6-8 words (as opposed to the 50-250 he should have). 3 months into speech therapy, he's up to about 10-12 words he uses consistently and 4-5 signs. He doesn't use any two word phrases. He will very rarely imitate words without being significantly coaxed. He's developed this not-so-cute little habit of "shooshing" anyone (including his speech therapist!) who asks him to repeat something. While I have continued to tell myself that he is going to catch up eventually and try really hard to not allow myself to compare him to other little boys, it's been a very slow and frustrating process. More than anything I want him to be able to tell me what he wants, what he's upset about, what he likes and on and on. 

The biggest battle we're dealing with right now is that since he has so few words to tell us when he's frustrated, he hits. And if you tell him not to hit, the smart little bugger kicks or throws, or pinches. I'll be honest, I'm really, really tired of it. It feels ridiculous to have to continually remind myself that HE'S the 2 year old and I'M the mom! It doesn't set a very good example for the mom to stomp her feet and throw a hissy along with the 2 year old!  We're pretty much at a loss as to how to handle him right now. Nothing that we've tried is making any difference. So, this weekend along with school projects and Christmas decorating, I'm going to be pulling out all of my parenting books and doing some research  for some new or creative ways to approach this little situation! And, in the meantime, I'll be enjoying as many glasses of mommy-juice as my diet allows!